The Confession

My name is Rachel Walker. I’m 23 years old, so I’m not really old enough for life to have taught me much. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned for sure, it’s this: there is no such thing as the foreseeable future. Take me for example: about a year ago, I had a pretty bad run of luck. In an eight-month span, I lost two loved ones, my job, not to mention my sanity, and most of my self-esteem. It got so bad I tried to commit suicide. Fortunately, it didn’t work. I took 37 sleeping pills and drank a half-bottle of Chianti, but before they took effect, I threw up. Well, one thing led to another, and instead of dying, I went to confession, which is where I met God. I’m not talking about a divine vision or dream or even a mystical image. I met God face-to-face.
We talked every day for seven straight days, God and me. Not 24 hours at a time but somewhere around seven or eight hours each day. It was remarkable. We discussed the writings of the Apostle Paul, as well as those of Thoreau, Nietzsche, and Marcus Aurelius, among others. In the process, I learned why bad things happen to good people, how to love someone I can barely stand, and what really happened to the dinosaurs. We even had time to talk about my purpose in life, which turned out to be much different (and far better) than I expected.
Boy did things turn around after that. I won’t bore you with all the details, but I went from being a woman with suicidal aspirations to a woman on a mission. I’ve told you all this with the hope that you will join me on my journey. It only cost about three bucks. Hard to get a good burger at that price. Plus, aren’t you kind of curious about the dinosaurs?